Why ‘A Woman Alone’

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A few people have asked me why I have chosen my blog title to be ‘A Woman Alone’….Yes, I know that I have children, family and friends. It goes deeper than that.

The title is a reflection of the depth of my soul, right now. The raging against the basic desire to be loved and to love and saying ‘I choose the single life’. I have built walls and battlements around my heart just in case someone tries to sneek in. I want to prove to myself that I can do this, I can do life without relying on a partner to get me through. I want to meet someone from a position of empowerment not vulnerability and neediness.

That has been my past and it took me to places I never wanted to go, places I never knew existed. Why shouldn’t I build walls? My judgement of people has been so very wrong, I thought I could trust myself. In the same breath, I am not so irreparably damaged by life that I have lost the ability to feel and care. There is no bitter shell of a woman to be seen. I still flourish and I know that my Springtime could be round the next corner.

To those who have called me an Ice Queen, to those who have said I am a single parent version of Bridget Jones……you can go take your insults and shove them somewhere painful. I’m not owning these labels that you like to throw at me. There are higher plains to be explored, my wings are no longer clipped by men who want to have me sat on throne of their making. I am not conforming to anyone’s ideal of the ‘perfect woman’.Choose to walk with me because of me,  not who you would prefer me to be. Now is my moment to live again and live life on my terms. 

I am not a victim, I am not a survivor. I am just me. 

Love and many hugs

Exxx

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6 thoughts on “Why ‘A Woman Alone’

  1. Debeneesse

    I did wonder about that but assumed it was a statement of fact and hope (I can be and will be what I want to be) not some resentful cry of isolation & loneliness.

    If I was to pick a argument it would just be the pedantic Semantic me out to play… pointless when I agree with your sentiments.

    So go girl…and may you find your thermals.

  2. Of COURSE you can do it E! Having a relationship should be the cherry on the cake of life and not the whole blooming cake. I’ve been around a few years longer than you and one thing I have learnt is that having a romantic partner can bring as many problems as it solves. I’d be a liar if I said there aren’t times when I was lonely. BUT – I’d rather have my independence and freedom of choice than a rotten relationship. Any day!

    You are doing it now E. One day at a time you are doing it And that’s all any of us can do. 🙂

    x

    • Hi A! Thanks for your comment 🙂 I totally agree with you. Yes, it would be nice to have a hug but at the expense of my freedom.

      I guess I am doing it now…. I’m looking after three kids, a house and a feckless cat all on my own. I budget, pay the bills, clean, cook etc without anyone interfering with that.

      Keep strong 🙂
      Exxx

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