Farewell, for now anyway.

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I’m stepping back from social media for a few weeks. This will be quite difficult for me as I have become quite dependent on it. I wouldn’t say it’s an addiction, more an outlet for all the nonsense in my brain.

Hoping this sabbatical will be a positive move. I deactivated my Facebook account last December and never regretted it. It was actually a huge weight off my shoulders.

This will be harder ….. I enjoy interacting with people and having a voice. In real life, I don’t have a voice at all and today that got slightly worse …… I can’t tell you why. I understand the reasons, it’s a just I already feel alone and isolated so perhaps it hurt more than it should have. Anyway, I’ll only be away for a few weeks.

I have some very important stuff coming up so I need to protect myself and prepare for the hurricane. Once the storm has passed, maybe I’ll finally be allowed to talk about what happened to me.

I’m scared, I’m scared of so many things but what worries me the most is losing the support of people I care about. I realise my life choices have created this distance….. How I feel right now is alone and vulnerable. I’m beginning to believe that there’s something wrong with me so that’s why my life is how it is right now.

Before I bow out, I want you to know that I’m not perfect, I get things wrong and I screw things up. I need to go off and do what I need to do and maybe then I can move on and start again. It’s the hurdle that has been looming for two years now, I mustn’t let myself down as my life depends on it.

Now go and have tea and cake for me
Love Exxx

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