Am I a real woman?


Motherhood or not. Big curves or not. Work or not …..

I feel I need to write about the constantly changing tick list that women are being judged on. I’m sure that many high profile feminists have written about it countless times and probably more eloquently but this is my blog, so there! 😉


Choose to have a child then you are seen as creating an unwanted drain on the Earth’s resources. You get frowned at in public places, tutted at when your child has a tantrum and told you no longer have your own life – you’re just a mum now. Have more than two children and you are selfish, slutty, uneducated and generally an all round awful woman, sorry, I mean mother as you are no longer a woman. If you stay at home then may the powers that be forever help you because you may as well be dead to society, actually, they’ll value you more if you’re dead!

Choose not to have children then you are an ice queen, selfish and somehow devoid of womanliness. How can you not want children?! You will be constantly asked as to when you will have children and reminded that your clock is ticking.

This is how we treat women on a daily basis over their personal life choices. Have kids, don’t have kids, work, stay at home ….. Do whatever suits your lifestyle. It saddens me to say this but women also need to respect other women’s choices. You don’t want children? Fine, but don’t look down your nose at someone who has 3 …..

Real women

How many times has someone posted a photo of Marilyn Monroe with the statement about her curves and how she is a ‘real woman’ – as opposed to a fake one I guess. Being a size 8/10 and flat chested and no hips ….. I must be a fake woman. I don’t wear makeup or heels either. Can’t we all be real women? I’m not going to venture down the gender identity path here btw! Women come in all shapes and sizes …. Big, little, round, skinny, hairy, smooth.. You get the idea. Stop the body shaming! Concentrate on loving your own body shape, it’s you that lives that body every day, not the haters.

I really struggle with my body shape and I really struggle with being a single parent with three children because I just want to feel acceptable to society. Slowly, slowly I am disowning the negative thoughts and comments and have taken a step to the left of the well trodden path.

I’m going to be ok. I’m going to do this on my own. I’m going to start again.

Love, tea and hugs


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