Ok …. My second attempt at writing about Christmas ….. Last time it was thwarted by a man but I’m not going to use this post to tell you what an utter arsehole he is … No, I’m better than that.
This is my Christmas message to those who aren’t having such a wonderful time right now.
Christmas and New Year’s are one of the worst times of the year. Let’s face it, it is the time of year when you are reminded of everything that is wrong about your life. Why else do New Year’s resolution exist?! To make us feel we are not good enough and we need to change.
Change isn’t necessarily a bad thing, doing something that improves your physical or mental health is actually a pretty good thing. Anyway, I’m getting distracted already!
Whilst we all know that everyone isn’t having a jolly old time, it doesn’t take away how low we might be feeling. If, like me, you suffer from depression (and ptsd and Mecfs) there’s no logic involved in why you feel so so low. When you hear of other’s grief or suffering it just compounds the feelings of despair. Please don’t lose your compassion though.
You may not even be alone for Christmas. I have my children and my cat with me. I’m doing all that I can to focus on that fact and yet I have this awful burning in my chest. Us depressed people are an awkward bunch; we feel sad at being alone, we feel alone when we’re not and sometimes we just want to be alone. Right now, I’m sat with my children and desperately want to curl up into a ball and hide for about three months.
How do we endure it? By remembering that we are ok and life changes. There may be people out there having a wonderful time and feeling all loved up and cosy … It’s not their fault. Clichés aplenty I’m afraid but we can’t give up on hope.
Try not to fight Christmas, it’s here and soon it will be gone. Maybe next year will be better, maybe it won’t however, hope will always be there. Cling on to that if you have nothing else to hold on to. Cling on to those who are near you even if you’d rather push them all away and if you don’t have anyone then reach out to those who don’t have anyone either ….. If all of that is too much then find a safe place and just be.
So here it is …..
My Christmas message to you is to hold on to hope. Yep, simple and as complicated as that.
Love, tea and hugs
And here is rather awful poem I wrote a few years ago ….
Christmas in the UK
It’s mild, wet and windy
No snow on the ground
The kids are running riot
And the Christmas tree’s turned brown
The Silver Band are tipsy
As they play carols on the street
No one wants breakfast
They’re all full of sweets!
Turkey in the oven
But I’m having nut roast
I need special gravy
Such a pain for the host
Presents are opened and everyone’s full
Time to relax now and and watch Dr Who
Children in bed now, the clocks ticks past two
Another Christmas is over, another Christmas is through.