Goodbye Little Ralf

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How Ralf got his name ….

On the weekend of the July 18th I had a miscarriage. I may have been about 6 weeks pregnant.

It was a horrendous experience, the pain, the bleeding and seeing something I shall never forget. No one should see something like that.

I was very distressed and very ill. He miscarriage triggered one of the worst migraines I’ve ever had and I was very sick.

After much persuasion, I managed to get a doctor to take me seriously (they’re not interested in early miscarriages 😦 ). They prescribed me some tramadol for the excruciating pain that I was in. It really had taken control of my body and I could only focus how much agony just I was in.

M took me to get my meds and I took a pill when I got home. I’m quite sensitive to medication (just ask my GP!) so it knocked me out pretty quickly. M somehow managed to get me to bed and that is when I uttered the name ‘Ralf’. Who knows where that came from. It’s not a name that is in my consciousness.

M and I somehow both came to the same conclusion that the baby I lost was a boy and Ralf seemed to be a significant name. Now, I know what you’re all thinking, I’ve absolutely mad and reading far too much into this ….

And the next thing I know, we have a puppy called Ralf because of the little boy I lost. I hope to be the best mummy that Ralf could ever have. He will always be special to me. I may not see him every day but I will be there.

And now I have to say goodbye to Ralf as M has dumped me. I miss you my little boykie. I will miss you more than you will ever comprehend. Please have a happy life and be a good doggy.

Love your mummy xxx

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