I think it is part 9 anyway……
Followers of my blog will know that I’m not the luckiest person when it comes to matters of the heart. I thought I’d write a few words about where I am right now! Haha.
Basically, I’m single and likely to be single forever. There are lots of reasons why I think this….my children take up pretty much all of my life, I have no social life, I’m not 21 and toned anymore…… *sigh* and also rather exhausted with the whole part process of dating.
You, happy, couples don’t know how lucky you are so piss off!
I’ve tried online dating and it’s full of men with no shirts on who are obsessed with the gym, men who just want you to send naked photos of yourself and men who are so far up their own arse that you will never be cool enough for them. Then there’s the women ….. As I’m bisexual, they tend to view me with suspicion and so I have given up.
In the general scheme of things, it’s really not that important. It’s not life or death…it would just be nice, one day, to meet someone who liked me and I liked them and they didn’t end up being an abusive shite *sigh* again. I really don’t wish to spend the rest of my life without a partner but I can’t see anyway to find a place in my life to fit one in, let alone meet someone.
So……I have to ignore my pangs of loneliness that I get (especially in the evening or when I’m having a bad day and it would be nice to have someone on my side) and just get on with my life. Not all of us can be loved up, not for all of us is there someone special to come home to.
I think that if I can come to terms with singledom then I may actually find the cure to a lot of my mental health issues! It really is that big a deal with me. It is going to be easy to stay single for the reasons outlined above but also for that fact that there isn’t a queue of people knocking on my door and begging for my attention haha.
Deep breaths ….. All is going to be ok. I can cope with living the single life and it isn’t going to be any less worth living just because I face it alone. I’m lucky to have family and friends in my life who love and care for me (and my cat!). I will learn to deal with the absence of hugs, kisses, sex, as well as the late night conversations and arguments over who needs to empty the bin. It’s just going to have to be fine being just me. Give me a bit time and I’ll get back to you and let you know how I’m getting on!!
Love, tea and hugs of the platonic type