Valentine’s Day

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Oh, it’s that day again. No, not Friday the 13th, much much worse …. Valentine’s Day arghhhhhh!!!!!!

I can’t actually think of a Valentine’s Day that I have ever enjoyed. Even when I’ve been in a relationship in its early days, it’s proved to be a damp squib. I’m afraid that I grew up with this romantic ideal in my head about this day and I’m finding it difficult to shift.

When I was a teenager, I longed for someone to woo me and sweep me off my feet with a dozen red roses. It’s all rather laughable now but my desire to be loved certainly had a bearing on me ending up in an endless cycle of miserable relationships (not to mention the abusive ones).

I find Valentine’s Day to be a painful reminder that I am still single and have utterly failed to keep a relationship going. As much as try to think of the day as an excuse for shops to sell you red
plastic shite, I know that I will wake up with a hint of sadness in my chest.

I’m no longer the wistful, naive teenager who believed in fairy tale endings.
I’m quite a bit older and more cynical and also more realistic of my chances i.e. zero.

What may escape you about Valentine’s Day is that it is also the day when women stand up for the One Billion Rising campaign …. 1 in 3 women across the globe experience rape or violence at the hands of a man. Visit their website – please – and see if there is a local event for you to take part in:
http://www.onebillionrising.org.uk

I think this is a much better way to spend the day and far more loving! Women standing together to show their love and solidarity with their sisters. Standing together to show the world that we care about all women and that the time has come to put an end to violence against women. Now that would be the best Valentine’s gift anyone could ever give me.

Wishing you a peaceful day this February 14th. Reach out to those women who need you and allow yourself to be cared for too.
Love and solidarity
Exxx

PS
Handy tip for those of you who say to your partner ‘I won’t be forced by this day to show my love to you or pamper you etc etc …… This is something I’ll do when I want to’
If you’re going to say that, make sure you actually do it #justsaying

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The Dating Game Pt 10

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Well, well, well…..

No real news to report. Getting comfortable on my dusty shelf despite my two youngest children’s desire to marry me off!

I just thought I’d confess to trying online dating again because I really enjoy making myself feel worse about being single. It’s my ‘cataclysmic brain’ apparently 😉 ……. Anyway, I’ve allowed myself one week of hell.

Here’s what I have to report ….

1. No women are romantically interested in me. I don’t know why, it’s a bit depressing.

2. Men think that I’m either a sex worker or an agony aunt. I’m neither.

3. I’m finding myself messaging men about how misogynistic they are (some of the profiles are good for a laugh, if you’re bored and I certainly am). I’m not sure that this is the point of online dating ….. It doesn’t go down too well with the menz. I’ve been blocked a few times.

4. I block a lot of people.

5. Women seem to like taking photos of their cleavage and men like taking photos of their cleavage *sigh*

6. I think that I may be too old and too cynical to ever date again.

7. An ex from over 10 years ago kept messaging me, I kept blocking, he kept making new accounts,
I filed a complaint … He’s stopped now.

8. I’m still very fragile and online dating is doing my ego no good at all because a) I’m not 20 anymore b) I don’t look like a porn star and c) I’m not 20 anymore …….

9. If do find someone worth messaging, they won’t reply. I’ve concluded that I’m just not cool enough.

10. There must be a better way but when you’re a single mum with no social life, how do meet anyone let alone someone to date?!

11. If someone does express more than just an interest, I tend to block them as I get freaked out at the prospect of actually meeting someone. This defeats the whole object of the exercise! I do apologise to those that I may have left bewildered and wondering what they did wrong
:/

So there we have it. I’m sure online dating works for some people, in fact I know several who it has worked very well for. Somewhere in that little, messed up brain of mine, I need to accept that being single is ok and stop trying to fill the hollow in my life with a partner.

You must all think I’m a complete lost case. Sort of an even more tragic Bridget Jones figure. I guess I shouldn’t care if you’re all thinking how pathetic and needy I’m sounding.

So…take your love and tea and cakes from me, I have plenty to spare
Exxx

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