A while ago I came out on Twitter as Bi, now I’d like to come out as a witch and a bi, single mother of a witch too! No, I’m not joking and don’t expect an apology for ‘turning my back on God’ either. I told a friend of mine that I had returned to the ‘old ways’ and she responded with a delighted yay!
Witchcraft is something that I’ve been interested in since I was a child. I’ve always felt a sense of otherness about the world. Studying science reinforced this, rather than dismissing it as nonsense. Everything is energy and everything is connected and look at all the cycles of life, water, rocks! Creative force 🙂
By admitting how I feel, I know there will be those who laugh and mock me and those that turn away from me, anti witch propaganda has been going on for centuries now. Much against my better judgment, I was confirmed as a Christian in 2008 (I think!). This was as a result of my ex husband wanting to be married in a church and the desire to become a vicar, ha! I was so taken in by it all but one thing I lacked was the sense of god’s presence in my life. There was no inner feeling that the Holy Spirit was guiding me. I prayed and prayed and prayed ….. I begged to be free from this vile man and yet nothing improved. I could talk the talk but deep down I didn’t believe the talk. The church let me down in a big way too, from the man who preyed on me to the vicar whose denied that I told him I had been raped and the Chritian friends who left me for dead. Not forgiven or forgotten.
I don’t blame Christianity for any of my abuse, why would I? Also, my separation from Christianty is not just about the negative experiences. What it did do was slowly take away everything that made me, me. I became bland and lost my connection with Mother Nature. I gave away my books and all my paraphernalia as I had some odd notion that these items were intrinsically evil – they’re not. Also, whilst I’m on subject of evil….witches cannot worship the devil as ‘he’ is a creation of Abrahamic faiths (I’m sure you’ll correct me if I’m wrong). My besom was left behind in the shed of a house we rented when my children and I fled from my ex husband. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’d burnt it, he like to burn things.
Whilst I have read many books on witchcraft, I tend to steer towards a more informal, hedge witch approach. I’m not into crystals (the wannabe geologist in me says that rose quartz cannot bring you love but it does look nice!) or tarot cards or any of the stuff you see in new age shops cf Glastonbury ….. Witches of the Middle Ages never had access to such items so I don’t feel that I need them. I’m also not sold on all of the gods and goddesses either. I guess I’m not much of a modern witch! Modern paganism feels like Chrisianty but with a different book.
What I like about my interpretation of witchcraft, and I stress it’s not mainstream thought here, is that I can be a part of nature and say thank you to the universe for existing. There’s no good/evil debate or men telling me what I should or shouldn’t do with my body. I chose the path I wish to, not the one I was told I had to.
There’s a huge history of female shamans, a belief system and way of life that has been almost erased by men. It’s something that I look forward to learning more about.
On a lighter note, I see myself as more of a Granny Weatherwax than a High Priestess of Avalon! No odd robes or headwear for me, oh no! Instead, you’ll find me in leggings and a baggy jumper admiring the dew drops on Lady’s Mantle.
Tea and hugs