160000 say #BackOff to anti abortion protestors 

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A Woman Alone

In a world where only the celebrity focused petitions seem to gain huge support …. I’m so happy that my petition has reached over 160k supporters! I’ve been campaigning for well over a year now and visiting No.10 seems like a very long time ago.

There are times when I feel like giving in but knowing that there are so many of you who want the same thing keeps me going.

You don’t have to agree with abortion to know that these protestors are in the wrong. Women should and need to be able to enter these clinics without fear or shame. They are doing nothing wrong and their reasons for visiting these clinics is NONE OF OUR BUISNESS! It’s really quite easy.

If the protestors want to shout and wave banners then they can do it anywhere, several 100m away from the doors of clinics. It is time we…

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160000 say #BackOff to anti abortion protestors 

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In a world where only the celebrity focused petitions seem to gain huge support …. I’m so happy that my petition has reached over 160k supporters! I’ve been campaigning for well over a year now and visiting No.10 seems like a very long time ago.

There are times when I feel like giving in but knowing that there are so many of you who want the same thing keeps me going. 

You don’t have to agree with abortion to know that these protestors are in the wrong. Women should and need to be able to enter these clinics without fear or shame. They are doing nothing wrong and their reasons for visiting these clinics is NONE OF OUR BUISNESS! It’s really quite easy. 

If the protestors want to shout and wave banners then they can do it anywhere, several 100m away from the doors of clinics. It is time we did more to protect women. I know that abortion is not a cuddly topic like avenging a dead lion or having a late celebrity named after a new periodic element BUT women’s safety is so much more important and that is far more valuable to society. Then we can get on with our  

 lives and tackle everything else. 
Much love and solidarity 

Exxx 

https://www.change.org/p/theresa-may-mp-please-create-a-legal-exclusionary-zone-outside-of-abortion-clinics/u/15009390

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/114853

David Bowie’s death and being a feminist killjoy 

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Today, I have learnt the real meaning of ‘feminist killjoy’. It’s something that I have joked about myself, the one in the room who’ll put a downer on a much loved film or celebrity. 
There’s no joking today, only conflict with the death of David Bowie swamping the news and social media. I grew up with his music, ok I was born in the late 70’s but he was ever present. My favourite childhood film was Labyrinth. I went to see it at the cinema with my mum and even had a few books of the film. Later to have it on video, I watched it over and over again and could recite the entire script. 
As a young girl, I had quite a crush on his character of Jareth. He was exotic and beautiful. I wanted to be Jennifer Connolly in the dream scene ballroom, to be whisked off my feet and lose myself in his eyes. Those eyes! So taken was I that I didn’t want her to win at the end. 
When I became an adult, there was an uncomfortable feeling with the focus of the film being about a grown man trying to seduce a young girl but I ignored it as I wanted to continue to enjoy the film, the music. 
Today I was stunned to hear that David Bowie had died, no one knew that he had been diagnosed with cancer 18 months before. This man who had been ever present in my life, a man that I wished I could have been like, was dead. I shared my shock and grief with thousands of others on FB and Twitter and turned the radio volume up to enjoy his songs. Then I read this:
http://elegantgatheringofwhitesnows.com/?p=3655
Being a victim of rape and one who has had to live with a not guilty verdict, I couldn’t let this new information just flow over me like someone shrugging off an insult. I’ve read some of the testimonies of the 13 yr old involved and there is no indication that she felt that she was raped. I don’t blame her for that and can completely understand how a young teenage girl can be groomed into ‘sex’ without ever thinking of it as rape or assault. What I don’t understand is how a grown man can find a 13 yr old sexually attractive, I will never understand that. 
And so I have this conflict…. I can never turn my back on someone who was sexually exploited by men who were famous and charismatic and yet I feel like I’m the ultimate feminist killjoy for sharing this on the day of David Bowie’s death. It feels so terribly wrong of me to do that. 
How do you balance your enjoyment of someone’s work with their deeply unpleasant past? All too often we brush these things under the carpet because these men are so adored and revered across the world. What does that say to victims of abuse though? Are we saying that if you are exploited by someone famous, forget ever being taken seriously or having justice as this person’s creative genius is FAR more important?! 

I’ll leave you to decide. 
Exxx 

New Years Resolutions 

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I know, I know New Years resolutions are as uncool as tinsel and the word uncool but l happen to like tinsel and using the 1st of Jan as an excuse to rethink my life. 
1. Rethink my body image. I’m now 9st and I’m still putting on weight. Having been plagued with an eating disorder since I was 9, this is new territory for me and I hate it. Every day I look in the mirror, I don’t recognise my body anymore. I worry that people who know me will see me and think ‘wow, she’s put on weight!’. I do need to rethink my diet but I also need to accept my new body shape. It’s not the end of the world, just the end of my ultra slimness. 

2. Get off my fucking phone. This should be easier than it sounds as my phone is old and the battery dies on me at 30%! I want to concentrate on my crochet and art.

3. I need to get my teeth into my Women Together project. I don’t think we’ll really feel the full impact of the cuts until the end of 2016 which is a scary thought as things are bad enough already. My goal for the year is to offer more practical help rather than tweets and FB posts. I have a lot of stuff to go on the website – which I’ve yet to find on a Google search! Also, some way of setting up a fund for helping women would be really great. 

4. Buffer zones for abortion clinics – I’ve been working on this for over a year now and I’ve not made a lot of progress. There are now two petitions out there in the ether – check out my blog posts for more info. Hoping that 2016 is a productive and protective year for it. 

5. Seeing my life as worthwhile and meaningful. I need to stop wishing away the days and try to enjoy the year with my children. It’s so easy to get bogged down in it all and to think that life will be better/easier when another milestone is reached. I’m very lucky to have three fab children who may be challenging but certainly not dull! 

6. Get out in the garden more. I moved into this house last spring and I’m looking forward to turning my garden into a little oasis of green for as little money as possible. It’s not a very big garden however, there’s plenty of space for some nice plants. 

7. Find a way to manage my ME/ CFS better hahahahaha!!! I can try. Either that or I need to win the lottery so that I can afford a cleaner and taxis…. Pacing your activity is nigh on impossible when you’re on your own with three kids. My family and boyfriend help when they can but I need to know I can do it all by myself. Perhaps it’s my pride, I just want to feel like I’m making a fair contribution to the life I have and the lives that I created. 

8. And finally …. Not really a resolution….this is the second year anniversary of my suicide attempt – New Year’s Day 2014. It doesn’t feel as poignant as last year, there’s a sense that I’ve moved on a lot since then. I’m glad that I am still here, still alive and experiencing life from the Sun’s heat on my face to the cuddles at bedtime with my children. I could have been two years dead and life would have been so very different for my children, different in a bad and dark way. Whilst I’ll never be the life and soul of the party, I hope with every atom of my body that I will never feel that desperate again. 

So there you have it. That’s my list for 2016, I’m sure I’ll think of more to add. In the general scheme of the relentless march of time, a new year doesn’t really mean a lot but I see it as a chance to try again and put my failures behind me. Maybe give it a go and be uncool too! 
Love and hugs and all the best for 2016. May it be full of tea and crochet if that floats your boat.

Exxx 

PS one more …. Get my poems published in my own book …. 

Christmas Poem 

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Time to brush the dust off my Christmas poem – three years old now! 
Christmas in the UK
It’s mild, wet and windy

No snow on the ground 

The kids are running riot

And the Christmas tree’s turned brown 

The Silver Band are tipsy 

As they play carols on the street

No one wants breakfast

They’re all full of sweets! 

Turkey in the oven

But I’m having nut roast

I need special gravy

Such a pain for the host

Presents are opened and everyone’s full

Time to relax now and and watch Dr Who

 Children in bed now, the clocks ticks past two 

Another Christmas is over, another Christmas is through. 

Exxx 

Non dairy pavlova 

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Watching the amazing Nigella Lawson on her BBC 2 Simply Nigella show, I finally found a recipe that I could make but no…!!!!! She finished if off with cream. 

Whilst I’m a vegetarian, not a vegan, I can’t eat dairy as it gives me the most awful migraines 😦 I then started my journey to look for a non dairy whipped cream and found  a recipe for one on The Guardian website. 
Here are the links:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/09/dairy-free-food-whipping-whipped-cream
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/lemon_pavlova_50340

I was lazy and didn’t do the ice bath or the melting of the fat first. I also didn’t add the lemon to the meringue and I think I will if I make it again as it was mega sweet!! 

This was the first time I’ve made a meringue since school so it was rather cracked …. Didn’t fall apart when cut so that’s a positive! The kids all loved it and there were no complaints about the soya cream. Finding a decent recipe for whipped cream work revolutionise my food! There are so many desserts out there that I haven’t been able to make (yet to find a decent chocolate alternative 😦 ). 

I hope to find more dairy free and vegan recipes next year to try and share with you all 
Love, hugs, tea and crochet 

Exxx