#WriteAPoemAboutTrump

Standard

#WriteAPoemAboutTrump
Ode to Trump 
You’re only in it for fame

With your haystack hair 

And your racist game

It’s clear to most 

From land to coast 

That the only thing you 

Care about 

Is dividing a nation 

Via self congratulation 

We’re laughing at you 

And your heart of poo

But the prospect of 

The nuclear button sitting 

Under your piles of glutton 

Scare us all silly 

And as for your willy

We don’t need to know

Stop stooping so low 

And get off the stage 

With your orange faced rage 

This world needs a POTUS

Not a dick who’s a right cuss. 
By @extreme_crochet 

Aka me 🙂 xxx 

@womentogether: a co-op for women 

Standard

Ok… I don’t know where to start! I have so much stuff whirling around my brain, I barely slept last night. Before I go any further, please know that I have ME/cfs and am a single parent with three children (one has Aspergers) so be patient with me 🙂 Things may take a while to get sorted but never doubt my passion for this idea. 

The summer budget hit a lot of women yesterday, it was a cruel blow to all the progress women have made since we ‘stepped out of the kitchen’. Something the Tories fail to see is that if we punish women, we punish everyone. We are mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, aunties, wives and friends. Such oppression of one gender can only lead to hurt us all. As Chief Seattle once said:

‘What we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect’ 

 (see: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/331799  and yes, I know he may not have actually said it but the words have resonated with me for many years). 

The blog may be a rambling….. 

I’ve been thinking for while that the only way to survive the piles of shit (yes, I do swear from time to time ;).)that the government like to throw at us, is to rise up together and help our fellow woman. The Tories approach is that we help ourselves ‘I’m ok, sod the rest of you’ I don’t come from that school of thinking. Women are stronger together, I witnessed that for myself when I attended the Freedom Program. We had a shared hurt and comforted each other, offered a hand to hold and knowing nod. 

I want @womentogether to grow into a nationwide co-op for women affected by the cuts. The only thing that I really insist upon is that all help/advice/support is offered free of charge. 

By help etc I mean things like:

You could set up your own mini foodbank

Clothes swaps for women and children 

Legal, financial advice 

Going to an appointment 

Sending a woman a nice card in the post or tweeting her when she cries out for help on Twitter (I’m going to set up a Facebook page too) 

Practical help like gardening, food shopping, fixing a leaking tap. 

Skill sharing – whether that be teaching women to crochet/knit/sew, car maintenance, cooking on a limited budget, using a computer. 

This list is endless! You might be a nurse, doctor, plumber, mother, gardener, lawyer, journalist, artist, therapist…… Just being a woman is enough for this co-op so please don’t feel that you have nothing to give and if you can’t give but need support – this is also for you. 

What I need right now is help setting up a website/webpage. I have no tech skills so would really appreciate any advice on this. I also need a graphic designer to come up with a logo. In return, I could crochet you something! My aim is to have a network in place before 2017 when the biggest cuts hit. 

I don’t want this women’s co-op to get bogged down in red tape and bureaucracy    so I’m not registering it as a charity or ltd company (I’d certainly appreciate advice on it though).  Safety first at all times so I think women setting up local groups is better than one woman alone (in regards to practical help). 

On that note, I realise there are many groups out there who help women. I’m not stepping on your toes, please use this account to spread the word of the work that you do and the support you offer, that’s what a co-op is all about 🙂 Would be great to have guest tweeters,when established, so that you can promote your groups. 

So …. Whether you need help or can offer help or even both ….. Please spread the word about @womentogeher 

This is my battle cry. This is my call for women to come together so that we can ride out the storm through love and sisterhood. 

Love, tea, crochet, sisterhood, solidarity 

Exxx 

#whyIstayed #whyIwent

Standard

Anyone that knows anything about domestic abuse will recognise that the reason someone stays is infinitely complex. I appreciate that this # has done the rounds on Twitter but I had to be careful of what I was tweeting at that time.

For ease of writing, I’ll put my reasons into a list. The order is purely based on what I put first as opposed to based on importance.

#whyIstayed

Nowhere else to go.

The hope it would get better.

Not wanting to be a single parent again.

Fear of what might happen if I left.

How would I cope alone?

The shame of people knowing my marriage had broken down.

Fear in general. Would he kill me?

That maybe it was all in my head.

Being so dependent on this person that leaving was not an option.

Had nothing left and summoning the strength to leave was almost impossible.

The notion that families stick together through thick and thin and we got married in the eyes of god – this was drummed into me.

That it would be me saying I had failed.

#whyIleft

I left several times before I finally left.

I didn’t love him.

A charity helped me. They have me strength and showed me that I wasn’t going mad.

His abuse was getting worse and darker in nature.

I found a little diamond of strength in my soul that said ‘enough now, this ends’.

He was arrested but released without charge – forcing me into a dangerous situation where my only option was to get myself and the kids out.

It was emotionally killing me and I couldn’t take anymore.

I had lost my identity and craved for it back.

I wanted a better life for my children, even if it has meant putting them in temp accommodation and me relying on benefits.

The desire to be in charge of my own life and my own body.

And I have to say, I have never missed him or felt broken hearted. There has been no sense of shame, in fact I felt empowered. It took my over four years to leave so I’m not trying to be smug here. Many women can’t leave and the Government has done a good job of making it virtually impossible for them now. This is why refuges are so important. I had family to help me, not everyone does.

If you are thinking about leaving, keep safe. It is a very dangerous time. Seek out help from specialist agencies but do so in a way that he cannot find out. Use someone else’s phone or computer etc

Life on the other side of abuse isn’t easy, it can be quite lonely and people don’t understand what you have gone through. I was stalked for a while too. It’s worth it though, worth it for the freedom and the release from worry. Utilise any services you can to make yourself safe and rebuild your life.

I’m with you, I’m here for you.
Take care
Love Exxx

Suicide isn’t painless

Standard

Yep, I’m jumping on the bandwagon…. But I have to say I think it is important to keep talking about mental health and suicide. I’m afraid this isn’t going to be the most eloquent piece on mental health you will have read… I’m not a highly educated linguist …

As you all know, I tried to kill myself, by overdosing on lorazepam, on New Years Day. This was actually the second attempt I have made on my life. No one really knows about the first time as it was very half hearted and I just slept it off at home.

I cannot begin to tell you how distressed I have felt. It has caused me immense physical pain and also to scream like I’m being hunted down by a murderer. It actually makes you want to tear your skin off or rip out your hair.

I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years because they can’t handle my depression and my dark moods. Certain family members have drifted off. Having said that, I’ve also made new friends, mainly with people who have had similar feelings. There’s a special understanding with such people that you can never have with those who have not experienced depression.

There’s no point trying to rationalise depression, it’s not rational, it’s mental illness. Your body is ill and needs help. Due to the stigma that still surrounds mental illness, we struggle on and don’t seek help. I know I have been quite stubborn about my own mental health; stopping antidepressants because I don’t think I need them, thinking I can get over it on my own, believing myself to be undeserving of help …

Individuals cannot overcome this stigma on their own, the whole of society needs to change it’s attitude towards mental health. It’s not about being ‘mad’ or ‘crazy’ or a ‘nutter’, it’s about an invisible illness that rots you from the inside out. By the time it shows on your outer self, you really are in quite a bit of trouble.

This is a big confession of mine and something I have only ever admitted to The Samaritans….. I strongly believe that I will commit suicide one day. As I said to the woman on the end of the phone, it’s a matter of when – not if. It’s something I carry with me every day. I not saying I’m about to jump off a bridge, it could be 30 years from now ….. I see suicide as a tool in my armour against life, it’s the only real control I have over anything that exists around me.

I’m not trying to glorify or glamourise suicide, just being honest about how I feel. All I do know is that I see the irony in the fact that knowing I can end my life one day, actually keeps me going.

Love and extra hugs
Exxx