#NewParty #Brexit My Manifesto for A Working Class Women’s Party (Pt.1)

Standard

Now, here’s an idea… The country’s in a completely Brexit meltdown of a mess. Politicians have abandoned us (or at least, that’s what it feels like) so there’s no one at the helm guiding the boat to safer waters. Even when the politicians do get their act together, I can honestly say that none of them inspire me that much. There may well be some wonderful back benchers, like the late and great Jo Cox MP, but we never hear about those doing good work. 
The conclusion I’ve reached is that we need a new party on the block. A working class women’s party (I’m including women on benefits who can’t work, like me, too) – thanks to Claire for that. I guess that makes the party the WCWP …. And yes I know that there is a WEP but they aren’t up to much. Very London centric and aimed at the middle classes, mores the pity. 
As I started this, I get to be PM (until I’m ousted when everyone realises I need to nap every 2 hours!). I’d also appreciate it if I can be minister for crochet please. 
A few positions have been filled already (not naming names or @ unless you want me to, happy to edit): 
PM

Deputy 

Chancellor 

Health secretary 

Secretary of State for DWP

Minister for agriculture and fishing 

Equalities minister 

Minister for economic ingenuity 

Hampstead liberal/Prosecco socialist 

US ambassador for all things lovely inc whiskey, pizza and puppies 
I’m never sure which is a minister or Secretary of State but I’m not sure it really matters. 
Quite a few job opportunities out there, just @ me on Twitter or comment on this blog and I’ll add you. 
WCWP need: 
Home Office 

Foreign Office 

Education

End of VAWG 

BAME minister 

Minister for cats 

Transport 

Industry 

Umm …. Just had a look online and there’s loads and I’m sure there are some we can invent whilst we are at it. 
Now there’s just the simple task of a manifesto and I’m keeping positive that we can all agree on it *eeek* 
Here are some ideas we can get our teeth into …
Ending VAWG is an obvious one 

End poverty by taxing rich people 

Female only safe spaces 

Children and teens taught stuff like how to fix a dripping tap, arts and crafts, cooking lessons that are actually of some use in the real world. Then sex education focusing on respect, consent and empowerment. 

I have to confess that I’m getting tired now and my brain isn’t working so this isn’t even the start of this. Feedback more than welcome. 
Love, tea and hugs 

Exxx 

Advertisements

And so it is Christmas … (CW) 

Standard

Christmas is an odd time of year. I was very lucky to have

l
  

lovely family Christmases when I was growing up. The excitement of the wait, the decorations, the tree, the ever increasing open doors on the advent calendar… Even when my mum had to work a couple of times, she still managed to make Christmas for us later in the day.
Fast forward quite a few years and then there was Christmas as a young, single parent. That was when the shine started to go out of the tinsel. I loved the couple of days I stayed with family but then it was back home to a house that was difficult to keep warm and that darkness you can only get from feeling like everyone is all jolly.
Don’t even go there with New Year’s Day! Many, many years of going to bed early only to be woken by WWIII in the form of fireworks. Then there was 2014…. 
Anyway, Christmas had become an odd mixture of joy and sadness. I think that is the way of things as you get older, more loved ones not being there anymore – some move away and some have died. Then I met my ex husband and everything seemed to sparkle again. 
After only two months of dating, he proposed on Christmas Day in front of my family. I was so happy, I was also so relieved to leave the stigma of single parenthood behind. With my sparkly diamond on my ring finger, I felt like I could take on the world.
This lovely cloud floated around for a while. I’m not sure when the rot set in but when we were married in the Spring, I wasn’t as happy as I should have been. Christmassy became a time of worry and stress. 
There was the worry over money for presents, the extreme worry over how much he would drink (and that was a lot), the stress of trying to keep up a happy front. This became increasingly hard as family fell out with him and didn’t want him there. I was emotionally torn apart. I now dreaded the start of Autumn when Christmas loomed large wherever I went.
Arguments over how much alcohol he had bought and how most of it had gone before Christmas Day still linger on in my mind. Needless to say, he had to buy more. The time he threw away youngest’s Christmas dinner that I had just put in the blender – she was 8 months old. I told him off and he reduced me to tears. I served our Boxing Day Christmas meal with teary eyes to a silent and miserable table. 
I’m doing my best to enjoy Christmas this year. There are triggers and memories with each tradition that I have to face but I am determined that my children will have a happy Christmas. 
It breaks my heart when I think of all the women out there right now who are dreading Christmas. To those women who might not be alive to see the new year in or who spend Christmas keeping the tears from flowing like a never ending river….I am with you and I believe you. I’m holding your hand and feeling your pain, your fear. He will use Christmas as an excuse to be extra vile and abusive. 
There are helplines out there, people out there who care and want you to be safe. I won’t think any less of you if you can’t make that break this Christmas or any Christmas. Please know that there can be joy and light again though. I hope you will find a way to leave one day and what ever day of the year that happens to be – may it feel like the best Christmas you’ve ever had. 
Much love 

Exxx 

 

My Christmas Message to You

Standard

Ok …. My second attempt at writing about Christmas ….. Last time it was thwarted by a man but I’m not going to use this post to tell you what an utter arsehole he is … No, I’m better than that.

This is my Christmas message to those who aren’t having such a wonderful time right now.

Christmas and New Year’s are one of the worst times of the year. Let’s face it, it is the time of year when you are reminded of everything that is wrong about your life. Why else do New Year’s resolution exist?! To make us feel we are not good enough and we need to change.

Change isn’t necessarily a bad thing, doing something that improves your physical or mental health is actually a pretty good thing. Anyway, I’m getting distracted already!

Whilst we all know that everyone isn’t having a jolly old time, it doesn’t take away how low we might be feeling. If, like me, you suffer from depression (and ptsd and Mecfs) there’s no logic involved in why you feel so so low. When you hear of other’s grief or suffering it just compounds the feelings of despair. Please don’t lose your compassion though.

You may not even be alone for Christmas. I have my children and my cat with me. I’m doing all that I can to focus on that fact and yet I have this awful burning in my chest. Us depressed people are an awkward bunch; we feel sad at being alone, we feel alone when we’re not and sometimes we just want to be alone. Right now, I’m sat with my children and desperately want to curl up into a ball and hide for about three months.

How do we endure it? By remembering that we are ok and life changes. There may be people out there having a wonderful time and feeling all loved up and cosy … It’s not their fault. Clichés aplenty I’m afraid but we can’t give up on hope.

Try not to fight Christmas, it’s here and soon it will be gone. Maybe next year will be better, maybe it won’t however, hope will always be there. Cling on to that if you have nothing else to hold on to. Cling on to those who are near you even if you’d rather push them all away and if you don’t have anyone then reach out to those who don’t have anyone either ….. If all of that is too much then find a safe place and just be.

So here it is …..

My Christmas message to you is to hold on to hope. Yep, simple and as complicated as that.

Love, tea and hugs
Exxx

And here is rather awful poem I wrote a few years ago ….

Christmas in the UK

It’s mild, wet and windy
No snow on the ground
The kids are running riot
And the Christmas tree’s turned brown
The Silver Band are tipsy
As they play carols on the street
No one wants breakfast
They’re all full of sweets!
Turkey in the oven
But I’m having nut roast
I need special gravy
Such a pain for the host
Presents are opened and everyone’s full
Time to relax now and and watch Dr Who
Children in bed now, the clocks ticks past two
Another Christmas is over, another Christmas is through.

2012

Mental Health Awareness Week

Standard

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone here a bit and I’m going to write about a very personal experience ….

1st Jan 2014 I took an overdose of lorazepam. I had been given the pills to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. There were a number of pills left as I decided that to use them would be a sign of weakness.

I’m not going to go into the details of why I thought suicide was a better option than staying alive. I’m gagged by law on that one but when I am not I promise to speak out about it.

Mental Health Awareness week starts tomorrow (12th – 18th May) so I thought I would use this to share my own experience of mental health problems.

I have had depression on and off since I was a teenager. Most of the time I would say that there seemed to be no tangible reason why I felt so low. I did not grow up in poverty, my childhood was pretty normal etc etc But New Year’s Day was the day when I decided enough was enough. I felt exhausted and powerless, life had defeated me. The shame I felt at feeling this way was immense and crushing.

Standing up and saying ‘I have mental health problems’ is still such a taboo. People step away from you, view you differently. You are made to feel that you are less of a person and that you haven’t tried hard enough to be happy. Why can’t you just get over it? I wonder how many times people with mental health issues have heard that one?!

So what I am trying to say? I’m trying to reach out to those of you who are finding that life is hard, that there seems to be no hope. There is hope and life can improve. I’m still working on it, sometimes on a moment by moment basis. Life is precious and fragile and bloody difficult so don’t feel ashamed if you feel low, don’t feel ashamed if you need medication to help you face the day. You are as worthy as the next person, you deserve happiness, love and security too. Call the Samaritans, speak to your GP, tell your loved ones how you feel. Shout it from the roof tops if it helps. Suicide is so final, there’s no second chances.

Hold on to this thought
‘This too shall pass’
It does, I promise you.

Massive love, hugs and tea
Exxx